? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
