There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
