What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
