i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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