grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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