yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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