I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
