The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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