She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
