it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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