Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
