I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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