I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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