If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
