Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize