Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
