big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
