I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
