Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
