hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
