Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
