Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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