Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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