I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
