Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
