I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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