so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
