Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
