i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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