Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
