and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
