That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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