I smell stomach acid.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
