I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
