she smelled like a LAN party
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
