We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
