i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
