Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
