he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize