It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
