I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize