enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
