Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
