Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you would pick up someone in the library
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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