so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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