Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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