He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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