No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
