TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
