Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
