I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
