did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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