is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize