Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
