We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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