it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
