my being single is dangerous.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have feelings that need drinking.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
