We won't sleep together?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
