what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
